Saturday, January 2, 2010

January 2

Dear Friends
Yesterday morning Ellen declined again, spiking a high fever and not rebounding from it. We suspect she has bled into her brain again, or the tumor has affected her body thermostat center. She is not in a coma, but lies quietly or sleeps most of the time. Her breathing is labored and we have stopped giving her nourishment or fluids due to the danger of choking. We are keeping her medicated with morphine and I have been told repeatedly she is not in pain or uncomfortable. Her wishes were to remain here at home and that is what I intend to do.
At this moment, she is sleeping. I listen to her breathing. I gaze over to her as I am writing and she appears peaceful, a very small smile at the corners of her mouth. I wonder what she is dreaming about, but I can imagine it's a sweet dream, with plenty of angels. I take comfort knowing she isn't in pain, knowing she is surrounded by love, knowing she is home where she wanted to be, knowing she will soon be free of the cancer.

She is beautiful and brave and such a sweet, loving soul. I feel so blessed she let me share this most sacred journey with her.

I know you all will keep her close in your prayers.

love,
cathy

5 comments:

Pam Felth said...

Dear Cathy,
I am so sorry to hear that Ellen's decline continues. Thank you for sharing this update. You are doing a beautiful job of caring for your partner so lovingly and keeping your friends informed. I know it has to be difficult and heartbreaking, and at the same time a precious privilege. I wish for comfort and peace for both of you.
Love, Pam

Peggy Suarez said...

Dear Cathy,
Praying for Ellen's peace and holding you in the light. So glad Donna is there with you. Lean on her, she is a wise and compassionate soul.

Hope you are lifted by the love being sent your way.

Namaste
Peggy

Anonymous said...

Dear Cathy,
I attended church this AM and prayed with a minister afterwards for Ellen as she prepares for her journey.

I have pulled a Rune for her each day this week. Today I pulled Teiwaz. It's symbol is an upward facing arrow and it is the Rune of the Spiritual Warrior. It called for willingness to "undergo your passage with compassion and in total trust." It is a Rune of courage and dedication. The glyph that warriors painted on their shields before battle. It seemed very fitting for today.

I have sent an email and posted a note to facebook to inform some of our friends and family so they too can send prayers.

I'm so glad Donna and Kathy are their to support you both. I send you all my love and prayers...

Debbie

Anonymous said...

Dear Cathy,
I attended church this AM and prayed with a minister afterwards for Ellen as she prepares for her journey.

I have pulled a Rune for her each day this week. Today I pulled Teiwaz. It's symbol is an upward facing arrow and it is the Rune of the Spiritual Warrior. It called for willingness to "undergo your passage with compassion and in total trust." It is a Rune of courage and dedication. The glyph that warriors painted on their shields before battle. It seemed very fitting for today.

I have sent an email and posted a note to facebook to inform some of our friends and family so they too can send prayers.

I'm so glad Donna and Kathy are their to support you both. I send you all my love and prayers...

Debbie

Anonymous said...

Dear Cathy,
I attended church this AM and prayed with a minister afterwards for Ellen as she prepares for her journey.

I have pulled a Rune for her each day this week. Today I pulled Teiwaz. It's symbol is an upward facing arrow and it is the Rune of the Spiritual Warrior. It called for willingness to "undergo your passage with compassion and in total trust." It is a Rune of courage and dedication. The glyph that warriors painted on their shields before battle. It seemed very fitting for today.

I have sent an email and posted a note to facebook to inform some of our friends and family so they too can send prayers.

I'm so glad Donna and Kathy are their to support you both. I send you all my love and prayers...

Debbie