Tuesday, January 5, 2010

The next day..

Dear Friends
It's evening, a long day after the passing of Ellen. I am sitting in bed with Ellens cat curled up at my feet. "Iggy" is confused and sad, but I think I made things better by wrapping Ellens big old bathrobe around her. I told her I understood, that I would take care of her. She seemed to understand, in my feeble human way, I was trying to help. We are both in this together.

Ellens passing was peaceful and very beautiful. Her sisters, Beth, Carol, Carol's partner, Irene, my good friend Donna and myself, spent the day with Ellen. We surrounded her bedside, holding her hands and stroking her face, speaking to her with great love. Towards the end, her breathing changed, becoming quiet and slow. Moments before she stopped breathing, I looked at her face and saw, clearly, a glow of light. As though her face were bathed in escaping light. She took several slow breaths and then stopped. It was so silent, so sacred, so incredibly peaceful. I felt the presence of something powerful, joyous and comforting. I know, deeply, she was lifted up and carried to a truly beautiful place. There is no doubt in my heart about this. A cold and cloudy day and with her passing, the sun broke through the clouds. I can't explain all of this, I can only express the awesome power which everyone in the room experienced.

When Ellen was a young child, she had a wonderful Great Aunt who was a strong and loving presence in her life. She was "Aunt Nan" and Ellen adored her, speaking so often of her with great affection, especially in the recent months of her illness.
They had a very special bond. Nan died January 4, 1990. Twenty years to the day, she came and carried Ellen home.

We are planning a service for Ellen, hopefully for next week, either on Wednesday or Thursday. I am trying to arrange the location for the service so that those of you who wish to attend can make preparations. I should know more by tommorow and will post the information. As part of the service I would to invite all of you to express your thoughts or memories of Ellen in a short note to her. I will take all of these messages of love and place them in a box for her at the service. You can email your message to her at: porcelainheart@cox.net, or mail it to: 1031 Fern Street, New Orleans, LA 70118.

I will post again tomorrow with information regarding her memorial service.

Thank you so much for you loving prayers of support. I know she still hears you.


Marie said...

I read about the experience of the last moments with Ellen and I smiled and said "yes, yes", remembering the light and opening to the other world that I felt and experiences with my own mother's passing many years ago. I am so happy for you to be able to hold that forever, knowing that she has moved to the beauty and freedom, the light and the love of the next place. And that her Aunt Nan helped her through the transition, accompanied her perhaps, makes it all the more joyous.

The splitting open of grief, for that is how I see it, is something I pray you may experience with full heart, because as it washes through you, you will become whole once again. I send you much love, much support, much understanding. I hope you will call on me in any way, tiny or great, to do anything that passes through your mind that you may want or need during this life changing time in your life.

Anonymous said...

Cathy - Your words describing the "glow of light" in Elllen's face" have given me such joy as I mourn for you and all of us that have been touched by Ellen.

Because of you, I was able to know the style, presence, charm, resolve, and especially the love that Ellen expressed so freely.

Thank you so much for enabling me to have a glimpse of all that Ellen was for you.

In our last conversation Ellen told me how very concerned she was about your well being -- that you had given her so much, and she could never return such devotion and love. At that point she made me aware of your unconditional and steadfast commitment to honor and respect her path. I was so inspired by Ellen's concern and your unstoppable actions. Thank you for reflecting the light that you saw.

All my love, Rita

Heather said...

Aunt Cathy, Thank you so much for sharing such an intimate and spiritual experience. And I also thank God for allowing you to see His grace, love and mercy. The relationship you had with Ellen was a light for all to see, even when it was the most dark and painful. I know you are hurting fiercely, but I also know that you will arrive on the other side of this a stronger person as well. You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Love to you, Heather