Sorry for not posting Monday or yesterday, but the bad news continues, and I am just doing my best right now. I saw Dr. Nick on Monday morning. The brain tumor has advanced. He said it happens to maybe one in four patients who undergo the radiation/oral chemo. Somehow, don't ask me how, I just knew the news was not going to be good. Basically, Dr. Nick said I have three options: 1) Pursue clinical studies 2) Undergo an IV chemo treatment 3) Let the disease take it's course. Of course, he also suggested I get another opinion, which we are pursuing at this time. I already have an appointment with a doctor in Jacksonville on election day. So, the process moves on.
Thanks to all of you for your unending words of love and support. I have received gifts and notes from countless people. I cherish all of them. Somehow without you holding me in your arms this would be much harder.
All my love,
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Yes, it has been way too long since I posted. My dear friend, Donna, has finally accomplished the task of getting me to write to you. Since my radiation ended two weeks ago, physically and mentally it has been hard to function. Of course, I always think if I cannot write something positive, then I should not write at all. Everyone who reads and posts on this blog are very special to me. Some, I have never met, yet they write such endearing thoughts of encouragement. If for one day, I can take one thing that was written and focus on it, I can make it until the next day. That's what I have been doing. And sometimes, it is very difficult because you don't know how many days are left. Cathy and I talked about that today. At the beginning of this illness, I thought that by knowing I wasn't going to live until 90, would somehow get me prepared to die. That has not happened yet. Today, I saw a therapist whom I immediately liked and connected with. In a one hour she helped me to realize that I cannot possibly have all the answers now. It seems so simple doesn't it? It is not easy, but knowing that all my friends and family support me is a great comfort.
With love to All,
With love to All,
"At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us." —Albert Schweitzer
Ellen is going to need our sparks for the next couple of days! On Thursday, October 16th (at 9:00 a.m.) she has a follow-up MRI to see the results of the first round of radiation and chemotherapy. Then on Monday, October 20th (again at 9:00 a.m.) she meets with Dr. Nicholas Avgeropoulos (Dr. Nick) for the results. This is a very trying time for both Ellen, Cathy, their families and for all of us (their extended family). We are all with you Ellen, and will be sending our light your way. Thanks for letting us be with you on your journey!