Sunday, January 24, 2010

Beginnings

Dear Friends

It's Sunday morning. I am in bed, with coffee and the cat, thinking about this past week. It's been a week of up and down emotions, of dark places, of decision and change. It's been a roller coaster, with my hands in the air and lots of screaming.

I spent the week searching for studio space here in New Orleans, knowing I need to get to work as soon as possible. I decided to at least give it a try to stay, even though I have the house and studio space in Orlando. It's more logical to return there, but logic has always taken a back seat to my emotions. My heart wants to stay here. I searched most of the week for a space to work and I searched just about everywhere in the city. On Monday I saw a storefront space on Oak Street, which is just three blocks from my house. Through the week I kept getting drawn back to it and on Thursday I made a decision to lease it. It's large enough to have a working studio area and also a gallery space, which is something both Ellen and I have always wanted to do. It's a big, risky, grand, and crazy adventure.

It's perfect.

Ellen would be so happy I am choosing to do this. She was always supportive of my work, encouraging me to "take it to the next level". I have no doubt she has been guiding me in my search this week, no doubt she would have wanted this for me. Before we moved here from Orlando she told me she was going to do something special for me when we got home to New Orleans. She wouldn't tell me what it was, wanting it to be a surprise. She declined so quickly when we got home she never was able to follow through on her promise and I never knew her secret. Now I know. I would say I am sad she won't be here to share it with me, but I know better.

I hide out under the covers in bed, I take long walks, I talk out loud hoping Ellen can hear me. The cat stares at me while I cry in my cereal. I miss her every minute and I am very sad. But I know, I really do know, she is here with me. She wouldn't want me to lay around and wallow, in fact it would really annoy her to no end. If I am going to carry her name forward, if I am going to become something better because of her, this past week was the beginnings.

I believe she can hear me.
love,
cathy

6 comments:

danielle said...

cathy,

I am so glad you found this studio/gallery that you both have dreamt of. This is such an encouraging "new beginning"...Ellen is there for you to give you strength and motivation...
I am also sure she hears you.

xoxodanielle

Pam Felth said...

I think you are 100% right. Follow your heart! By the way, you also write very well; have you ever published anything?

Rone' Prinz said...

Cathy:
this must be the secret she had for you, to have a studio/gallery is perfect, you are perfect, follow that heart of yours, it is so wonderful to hear this. you are strong & talented & loved by so many, put all of that in your new work, let it flow out of your hands, out of your heart, I look forward to see this new body of work that you are about to release from the depths, Cathy!!
with love
Rone'

Anonymous said...

Cathy,

You are an amazing women. Keep getting up and moving forward. It has always been your destiny to have a gallery somewhere. This is perfect that Ellen brought YOU home to New Orleans. Here we all thought it was the other way around...

I love you dearly my friend and I send prayers to you daily...

Debbie

Anonymous said...

Dear Cathy and friends of Ellen,

These four songs were sung at Ellen’s Celebration on January 14th 2010 by Michaela Harrison in New Orleans,LA.

The Zip file should download automatically from any one of these sites for your itunes or MP3 players.

In case the one link doesn’t work for your computer then try the next one as they all get you to the same place:

www.lippensdesign.com/Ellens-Songs.zip

http://tinyurl.com/ellenssongs

http://web.me.com/d.lippens/LippensDesign/Ellens-Songs.zip

She must be helping dem boys along... Who dat! Go Saints go...

Love,

Debbie

Peggy Suarez said...

Dear Cathy,
You are so right....big, risky, grand & crazy are perfect for you right now! I am eager to follow your success in this new adventure. As always, sending you energy, peace and love.

Namaste,
Peggy