Sunday, September 19, 2010

Pieces of the Puzzle

Dear Ellen
Already I'm preparing for another road trip, this time to Kansas City. I'm just barely back to my little routine from the last therapy session and now I'm packing again. The good part is I love Kansas City and the people who come to visit me at the show. It will feel good to be there and it's only a day's drive instead of three. I'll hardly have time to work myself up in thirteen hours.

It's hard to believe how much my life has changed in these past nine months. Sometimes I sit still and let it all in. How did I ever get from where I was in those beginning dark days to where I am now? I don't even remember much of those first few months. I think I just kept getting up in the morning, kept trudging along until I realized my legs were under me. Grief is a great teacher. It's such a painful process, but I've learned so much about who I am and who I want to be. I am at a place now where I can understand and recognize this as a gift. Maybe it's a gift I didn't ever want to experience, but the value has been etched more deeply by the pain. I know it will take me a long time to fully understand how it's changed me, but I am beginning to place the pieces together.

Time to head to the studio. There's a kiln load waiting to be brought forth into the world.

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