Sunday, February 7, 2010

Baby Steps

Dear Ellen

New Orleans is wild. It is the center of the universe this week and I know you would be loving every minute of the craziness. We finally voted in a mayor who might accomplish something, Mardi Gras is in full swing and the Saints are in the Super Bowl this evening. It's a smorgasborg. I would say I am sad you arn't here to experience it all, but I know you are and I know you probably have something to do with the Saints in the Super Bowl. How else could it happen?

I moved my studio from Orlando to the new studio space this week. The trip to Orlando was good, but hard, as ten hours in my head during the drive was about six hours too long. It was sad in some ways, to pack up the old studio and be at the house, but it felt good knowing I am moving forward. Our little house sits there full of memories, too many memories for me to live with. I knew, I know, I'm making the right choice. New Orleans, it's big old wild self, will help me heal.

The new studio/gallery space seems huge. I love this place, this point in the process where my tools and my wood parts and my paints and all my "junque" are waiting for me. It's the beginning which is wonderful and terrifying at the same time. After the movers left I stood in the middle of crates and boxes and burst into tears, my emotions catching up with the day. As much as I feel you with me, as much as I know you are a part of this, the beginnings are scary without your reassuring smile. I came home afterwards, took a hot bath, got into your old bathrobe, poured a glass of wine and had a long conversation with the cat. It helped.

This is how it will be. Wonderful and scary. Sad and yet hopeful.

Exactly like it's supposed to be.


Melissa said...

I can't wait to visit New Orleans again and stop by Lucky Girls! I don't know if Iggy is a boy or a girl, but he/she is very lucky to have you :)

I'm glad you have your work and the cat to help you through.


Heather said...

Aunt Cathy - It was great to see you while you were in Orlando. And, someday, I hope Courtney and I can make it over there to experience the wild and crazy city that is New Orleans. It would be so much fun to see the city through your eyes and hear your stories. Continue to move forward in "baby steps" knowing that you are loved beyond words. Heather

Anonymous said...

OMG... The Saints won!!! You know they had a little cajun angel helping them along these past 4 weeks!

I hung a "Who Dat" graphic banner for Ellen at your house in Orlando after working @ the Farmers Market. I came home and hung another at my house. As I hung the last one her... I wept. I wept for Ellen. I wept for you and I wept for me too. The last pieces of you were picked up from your studio here and moved to NOLA. I was hungry, lonely, tired and cold from being out in the weather all day. It felt good to cry. I knew I was alright and I knew that "all was well" even though it was different. I fixed a quick dinner, gotta a cuppa tea and got ready to watch the game... I remember at one point saying... "Come on Ellen" and the next thing the Saints came back... I was so happy for them. New Orleans needed this one. We all needed this one. How cool is that?

You are doing the right thing Cathy. You have done the right thing during this whole thing and I so admire you for that. I'm sure I'm not the only one...

Much love, Debbie