Dear Ellen
I've been thinking about you a lot this past week. It's crunch time in the studio as I get ready to go to Sausalito for a show. I don't think you liked crunch time too much as it meant I was anxious and grumpy up until the hysterical last minute, but we always managed to get through it and you were always happy to see me when I returned home. My work reflects the change I was hoping for and I'm pleased with it. So many times I wished you were here to help me figure out the finishing touches on a piece and so many times I'd hear you in my head telling me to "calm down". It makes me smile to think of how many times you've had to tell me that.
In a way, I'm taking you with me to Sausalito. The new work is clearly about the loss and transitions I'm making, the expressions and emotions reflected in the faces I've carved. For the first time in a few years I am a little afraid of setting them up at a show and hearing the reactions from people. It feels like I've been stripped down to a core and now waiting for the verdict. I guess, like you would say, "there's only one way to find out". So, a week from today it's off to California and in the meantime, a flurry of fur in the studio.
I'm meeting with someone tomorrow from your old school, Nicholls State. I've decided to set up an endowment scholarship in your name for students who have lost a parent to brain cancer. I think it would make you very happy to know how many lives you touched, not only during your lifetime, but long afterwards. It makes me smile, because I know you wanted to leave some of your estate to charity, but couldn't decide which one. I think this would feel right to you.
I'm off to the studio as there's fur to fly.
I know, I know. Calm down.
I miss you
love, cathy
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Cathy and Ellen in Lafayette, Louisiana, November 2009.
Ellen Cancienne & Cathy Rose
From left: Ellen, sister Beth, Cathy, sister Carol
A diary of living with a brain tumor.
Two Lucky Girls
Cathy and Ellen in Lafayette, Louisiana, November 2009.
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Ellen & Cathy
Ellen Cancienne & Cathy Rose
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From left: Ellen, sister Beth, Cathy, sister Carol
About Ellen
On Sunday, July 13, 2008 I went to the emergency room suffering from a debilitating migraine headache. A CAT scan revealed a brain mass that subsequently was diagnosed as a stage IV glioblastoma multiforme. My life and the lives of my family and close friends have forever changed since that evening. This blog is an attempt to deal with those changes and share the highs and lows of what it is like to deal with the path my life has taken. I cannot explain what has happened, sometimes things happen which defy explanations. This is one of those things.
4 comments:
Wishing you safe travels to Sausalito and a great show mi amiga. I read this quote by Pearl S. Buck while traveling last week and jotted it down to pass on to you....it felt right.
"Sorrow fully accepted brings its own gifts. For there is an alchemy in sorrow. It can be transmuted into wisdom, which, if it does not bring joy, can yet bring happiness."
Wishing you peace on your journey,
Peggy
Your journey leaves me speechless most of the time. Just know that my love and admiration for your integrity and strength bursts from my chest in inexplicable ways. So much love for you and our angel.
Oops that would be from Victoria the challenged.
Dear Aunt Cathy, What a lovely idea to set up an endowment at Ellen's alma mater. I know she's looking down on you right now and beaming with pride and love. It is such a thoughtful expression of your love for her and I know it will be a blessing for so many students now and in the future. Love and miss you, Heather (PS, I hope I have an opportunity to see your latest work soon.)
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