Dear Ellen
Another Sunday morning with coffee, cat and newspaper spread across the bed, your bathrobe keeping me warm. It was a long night. Some of them are just harder than others. I'll have a good and busy day, but when I come up the stairs into this room, without you here, the feelings catch up with me. There's no escaping them.
I was in shock for the first month, not believing you were really gone, somehow thinking you'd be home soon. Now the reality has set in, now the loss, now the day to day living without your presence. Now the terrible missing you.
Some nights are just harder than others.
I worked all week at getting the gallery ready. I began on Monday, staring at the pile of pedestals and blank walls and thinking I had no idea how to make it all work together. On Tuesday I stared some more. On Wednesday our friend Pam came over and we put the finishing touches on the new wall I helped her build. It was starting to take shape. On Thursday I stopped staring and began moving pedestals around. By Thursday afternoon I had art on the pedestals. On Friday I took the paper off the windows, swept the floor, and unlocked the door. Our gallery is now open. I stood in the middle of it all and cried. How good it felt to realize a dream, how I wished you were with me to celebrate, how joyous and sad all in one big cry.
Two hours later the first customer came in and purchased a large sculpture. After she left, I sat there and started laughing. My dear, you are so busy in Heaven. Just when I felt so alone without you, you reminded me I am not.
Lucky girls we are.
love
cathy
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Cathy and Ellen in Lafayette, Louisiana, November 2009.
Ellen Cancienne & Cathy Rose
From left: Ellen, sister Beth, Cathy, sister Carol
A diary of living with a brain tumor.
Two Lucky Girls
Cathy and Ellen in Lafayette, Louisiana, November 2009.
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Ellen & Cathy
Ellen Cancienne & Cathy Rose
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From left: Ellen, sister Beth, Cathy, sister Carol
About Ellen
On Sunday, July 13, 2008 I went to the emergency room suffering from a debilitating migraine headache. A CAT scan revealed a brain mass that subsequently was diagnosed as a stage IV glioblastoma multiforme. My life and the lives of my family and close friends have forever changed since that evening. This blog is an attempt to deal with those changes and share the highs and lows of what it is like to deal with the path my life has taken. I cannot explain what has happened, sometimes things happen which defy explanations. This is one of those things.
7 comments:
Wow, Cathy, that brought tears to my eyes. I am so sorry for you, alone crying, and so happy for you to have the gallery open and your first sale! I drove Mary Ann past the gallery last night, and we both agreed it looks fabulous! It's so eye-catching! It's remarkable that you could accomplish so much during less than 2 months of grieving. I know you have had Ellen's help all along. Congratulations on the gallery!
Congratulations from Corky and Kathy! We cried for you and rejoiced in your new beginning. Achieving a new goal is great, and we are so proud of you. Good luck and stay in the light. We will be in Broussard in 2 weeks. If you come that way, we would love to see you and give you a big hug. Love, Kathy
Dear Aunt Cathy, Congratulations on getting the gallery up and running! I know the moment was bittersweet, but as you have discovered, Ellen will be watching over and guiding you. What a comforting thought that must be. I hope I have a chance to visit soon! I love you. Heather
Congratulations Cathy! What an accomplishment...I'm so proud of your strength and so happy you are my friend.
Donna
It's been a while since I visited this page. I see you are using it so well. You are remarkable through these days. Pouring the pain out of you and the joy in. Through it, you continue to move, change, grow and grieve. Amazing, really. I know Ellen is so proud of you. A huge congratulations on the gallery.
Oh Cathy, we are so proud of you!! We are sure that Ellen is by your side every step of the way. We wish we could do something to help you, but really the best we can do is keep you in our prayers and ask the Lord to continue giving you strenght and wisdom. Congratulations on your Gallery, it sound wonderful and beautiful. We are very happy for you and we are sure that it will continue to be a smashing success. Please take care our your self, don't stop writing I know it is a big help for your healing. We hope to hear from you some time soon.
Congratulations on the gallery, I'm sure it is as wonderful as you are. How beautifully you write. You are a strong powerful woman. Would love to see a pic of the gallery when you feel ready to post it. thank you Cathy, You are so inspiring!! hoping to see you in Old Town!! sending hugs & love your way!!
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