Dear Friends
In the many times we have written in this blog, both Ellen and I have tried to keep the news positive, always looking forward with hope. This time, I can't give you such an optimistic spin. Ellen declined again this past week, not such a dramatic change, but she became physically weaker and more withdrawn. I hoped it was just a reaction to the chemo, but by the end of the week I had to accept it as tumor progression. After consulting with the Doctor, Ellen's sister and I made a decision to call Hospice. Since Ellen can barely verbalize needs and is now quite weak I was concerned about both her safety and taking proper care of her. Obviously, this was a very difficult choice to make, knowing where it now will lead.
This was a long, hard and painful week. I feel great sadness as I lose a little bit more of this amazing woman every day. She is so strong and full of grace I can't help but accept this is the journey she chooses to make. All I can do now is just love her and stay close.
And that is what I am asking you to do as well. She can understand the messages you send as I relay or read them to her and I know she finds comfort in your prayers. Please keep her close.
love
cathy
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Cathy and Ellen in Lafayette, Louisiana, November 2009.
Ellen Cancienne & Cathy Rose
From left: Ellen, sister Beth, Cathy, sister Carol
A diary of living with a brain tumor.
Two Lucky Girls
Cathy and Ellen in Lafayette, Louisiana, November 2009.
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Ellen & Cathy
Ellen Cancienne & Cathy Rose
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From left: Ellen, sister Beth, Cathy, sister Carol
About Ellen
On Sunday, July 13, 2008 I went to the emergency room suffering from a debilitating migraine headache. A CAT scan revealed a brain mass that subsequently was diagnosed as a stage IV glioblastoma multiforme. My life and the lives of my family and close friends have forever changed since that evening. This blog is an attempt to deal with those changes and share the highs and lows of what it is like to deal with the path my life has taken. I cannot explain what has happened, sometimes things happen which defy explanations. This is one of those things.
11 comments:
My heart aches after reading this latest development. I will hold you both in the light and pray that you receive much strength and comfort.
Namaste Ellen & Cathy
dearest Ellen & Cathy: I have been following your blog & silently sending you both tons of love & healing compassion. Reading the posts I am so moved by the beauty & profound love you have for each other. Cathy it shows in your work, Ellen you have always had that amazing sparkle in your eyes & smile. I know it is still there as you both move thru this time. How precious life is & how lucky you both are to have found & shared it together. My heart & best wishes are sent your way.
Oh Cathy. I am so so sorry. Please know I am thinking of you both and praying for your peace and comfort and acceptance. Her love will never leave you!
Karen Sokohl (Donna's sister)
love, prayers and hugs to you both. we are pulling for you and have been keeping up through Donna and this blog. Julia and Tom
Dearest Ellen and Cathy,
When I was thinking of you both today this story popped into my head.
There was this dolphin researcher named Dr. John Lilly. He loved dolphins and found them to be extraordinarily intelligent and compassionate. One day John decided to try an experiment and swim out into the ocean until he couldn't swim any further. He was sure the dolphins would save him. After swimming for awhile and not seeing any dolphins he became so exhausted and discouraged that he returned to the beach.
John's wife had watched his entire experiment from her vantage point on the shore. As John climbed out of the water tired and disheartened, his wife approached him. Confused by her excitement, John learned that his wife had seen the dolphins swimming around him during the entire swim. John just hadn't realized they were there.
I know you are both surrounded by dolphins.
With hope in my heart,
Betsy
Aunt Cathy, my heart cries with yours and how I wish I could wrap my arms around you and give you a big hug...instead I will pray for God to do just that. Cherish every moment and recognize that it is precious, even when it is painful. My prayer for you is that you will find peace, comfort and strength in the arms and prayers of your friends and family. Love to you both, Heather
Dear Ellen and Cathy, I keep everyone here at the office updated on how you are both doing: Ellen fighting the tumor and Cathy taking care of Ellen. On a day that it is cool and windy, know that it is delivering love and energy via mother Earth all the way to New Orleans. Step outside for a second or open the window and feel it, we are singing to you. love,David
Dear Cathy and Ellen,
You're in the thoughts of many of us--we share your hurt and pain. How thankful I am that you have each other and many more beyond the two of you who love you, feel along with you, care deeply about each step of the way. You are constantly in Donna's thoughts; I know because I see her continually feeling along with you. Know that at least a corner of it is on her shoulders and that you can release a bit of the load to her and other friends like her who care passionately about you.
Please know that you are loved by not only your inner circle of friends like Donna, but by those of us to whom she introduced into your lives.
I wish for you peace, comfort and joy through this most diffcult of times.
Karon Reese
hi Cathy-
You don't know me. I'm just a fellow mixed media artist who lived in New Orleans and now lives in Kansas City so I've seen your lovely and amazing work in person several times. I'm struck by the wonderful support and healing energy I feel as I read everyone's comments and want you to know that I too am holding you two in my heart in golden light.
Cathy and Ellen - I am so sorry this is happening to you. I haven't known you for very long, but I am so glad that Donna included me and I got to spend time with both of you. You're very special people and I feel very lucky to know you. My thoughts, prayers and wishes are with you.
Melissa Owings
My dear friends,
I know the long and sometimes very difficult journey you both have been on. They say within every challenge there is a opportunity and within every difficulty there is a gift. The gift is that you have been so present for each other. Cathy... You moved mountains for Ellen. Ellen... You have moved us all with your grace and strength throughout this illness. We all love you... We all are praying for you... I love you both dearly... I pray for you both daily.
Debbie xoxo
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